23, fucking November again, fucking busy still, Psychology as new major, yet struggling with American Studies still, out of Telenor, teaching English three times per week, sometimes translating, seeking ways to earn some money, parents and sister emigrated to Germany, grandparents moved back to the country .
I am very aware of being really lucky because found THE love of my life, have own flat, own car, cat still alive, me still alive. Still finding plenty of reasons and ways to fuck up my own life. Honestly, I've had enough of this "Am I a child or an adult? What is happening, should I enjoy life or prepare for the future - knowing that both are impossible?"-period. I meet my boyfriend once a week. I hate this word, boyfriend. I am not fucking 13-year-old-teenage-girl anymore. Or am I? Then why do I have to go to the post office, the groceries, the supermarket, the bank, the drugstore every day? Why am I rushing from one place to another? Children do not do that. Am I an adult? Then why do I not have a family, why am I depending on others financially and other ways?
And apart from all these, why am I unable to decide whenever there is something to decide?
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